Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize