walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize