I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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