home. puking in laundry basket.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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