weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was like eating out sand paper
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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