Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize