Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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