It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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