4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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