In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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