apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize