you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize