i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize