They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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