Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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