you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize