so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he was CRYING into my vagina
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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