Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
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Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize