Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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