You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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