we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize