i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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