god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize