I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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