Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
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Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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