so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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