i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize