Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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