I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize