My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize