whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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