Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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