What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my shit smells like andre
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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