Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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