party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize