This girl is more easily done than said...
he shaved USA in his pubs
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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