i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize