I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize