1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just blew my weed a kiss
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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