Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize