You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize