I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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