he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize