Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
wanna go halves on a baby?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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