first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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