Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
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You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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