sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize