I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize