How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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