So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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